Stand behind yer sheriff Circulation: 171,606,722 Issue: 178 | 18th day of Awakening, Y7
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Rimmer's Story


by immortalmina

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This is a prequel to how Rimmer became a Holopet and a Moon Goddess Guardian.

_A_J_Rimmer_ the brown Grundo walked into his bunk frowning. He had in his hand a book called "Learn to Speak Diddler in Just 4 Weeks" He read it aloud over and over. The Grundo wore a green Virtupet's uniform that had the Virtupet's symbol on the chest pocket. His Diddler, Holly, followed him.

     On the top bunk, which was covered with Zurroball posters, sat a Green Grundo. This Grundo wore a stained yellow Zurroball tee under an open Mystery Island Shirt, stained green uniform pants and a black hat. His brown dreadlocks stuck out the back of the hat.

     These two Grundos worked on the Virtupet's Space Station as Neocola Machine repair men. It was their job to keep them working for the other Grundos and Dr. Sloth.

     "Rimmer, you're never going to learn to speak Diddler," the green Grundo said.

     Rimmer just ignored the other Grundo and kept reading the book aloud to himself. Holly buzzed by as if to try and help.

     "It says it takes four weeks and yet you've been reading it for, like, four years. Get over it, Rimmer." The green Grundo shook his head and he laid back on his bunk. His petpet Meowclops, Frankenstein, jumped into his lap.

     Holly spun around and buzzed, "Yeah, Dude." Rimmer looked down like he had no idea what the Diddler said. Lister had to hold in his laughter.

     Rimmer put the book down and scowled. "I'll have you know, Lister, that I have learned how to speak Diddler. I've only been reading it aloud to broaden you."

     "Sure, Rimmer," Lister laughed.

     Rimmer sat on his bunk that was under Lister's. "Why are you here Lister? The Grundos were freed a long time ago. You no longer have to serve Dr. Sloth. As you know, I stay because I always wanted to serve."

     "I still need the Neopoints. One day I hope to move to Maraqua," he said happily.

     Rimmer's face looked so confused. "You do know that Maraqua is under the ocean, Lister."

     Lister looked confused for a second too, and then smiled. "Yeah, but it's cheap."

     "So, do you plan to grow gills of some kind then, Lister?" Rimmer chuckled.

     "No…don't worry about me, Rimmer. At least I don't do everything Dr. Sloth tells me."

     Rimmer just frowned. He always did what he was ordered to do. It was something that he felt he had to do. It made him feel like he was worth something. "At least I take orders. It's more than I can say for you."

     Soon over the P.A. System they could hear, "_A_J_Rimmer_ to Dr. Sloth's office at once!"

     Rimmer jumped off his bunk and headed out without even looking at Lister. Holly buzzed as fast as the Diddler could go behind him.

     Once at the office Rimmer walked in. He did a funny salute to Dr. Sloth and said, "Yes, Sir. Is the Neocola Machine of the fritz again?"

     Dr. Sloth grinned a wide and scary grin. "Why, yes it is. I need you to try this can." Dr. Sloth handed the brown Grundo a can of Neocola.

      Holly again spun around and buzzed. "Don't try it, Arnie. It's a trap." Rimmer frowned but didn't listen.

     Rimmer took the can with a nod. He wasn't sure why Dr. Sloth would want him to try it. It was an order and he had to obey. Rimmer took a swig from the already open can. Right away he felt strange. It was as if the space station was spinning. The can fell out of his hand as he fell to the floor.

     "How do you feel, Rimmer? The can had a Rainbow Swirly Potion in it. Not sure how it got there." The doctor began to laugh.

     Rimmer had changed. Only a few things were noticeable right away. His uniform was no longer green. Instead it was brown and had a gold crescent moon the upper left arm and on the tie. His forehead now had a white "H" on it. He also now had a gold crescent moon birth type mark on his belly. The biggest thing that had happened was the worst.

     Rimmer tried to touch Holly but his hand went right through the petpet. This caused Holly to leave in a hurry. Rimmer stood up and saluted Dr. Sloth. Dr. Sloth smiled. "It is time for you to leave us, _A_J_Rimmer_ , I no longer require your services and neither does the station. Go on the next shuttle to Neopia and have a good life."

     Rimmer frowned and left the office. He found his way to his bunk. "What happened to you, Rimmer? You look like death warmed over. Hol is frantic," Lister said. The Diddler was spinning around Lister with his lights flashing. Lister jumped from his bunk and tried to help Rimmer. The brown Grundo fell right through Lister. "Gah!"

     "I'm not sure, Lister. All I know is I was fired! Me fired! Even you've never been fired," Rimmer shouted.

     Lister didn't know what to make of all of this. His bunk mate was go-through-able, fired and had a new uniform. It made no sense at all.

     "I'm sure it will all be okay, Rimmer. I'll take you to Neopia if you want," Lister offered with a smile. At that moment Rimmer hated that smile. He never thought he could hate a smile as much as that one. The slob was keeping his job but he was fired. It wasn't right to Rimmer.

     Lister, with Frankenstein, Rimmer and Holly all went on a shuttle to Neopia. It was all Rimmer could do to keep from crying. He didn't know what he was going to do now. All he knew was how to fix Neocola Machines and to serve Dr. Sloth.

     "Good luck Rimmer! Take care of him Hol,' Lister said.

     "I hope you get to move to Maraqua, Lister." The brown Grundo managed to say with clenched teeth. Lister waved as the shuttle took the green Grundo and his petpet back to the Station.

     "What now, Holly?" Rimmer asked his petpet.

     Holly buzzed and beeped, "We find the Moon Goddess of course."

     "We…what? I lied to Lister! I don't really speak Diddle!" Rimmer yelled and tried to kick Holly but his foot only went through the petpet which caused him to fall.

     "As the Diddler said, you find the Moon Goddess," an odd voice said. Rimmer picked himself up and saw a Lenny holding an old browning book with a gold crescent moon on the cover, Zafara and Lupe looking down at him.

     Holly buzzed happily. "That's what I said."

     "Moon Goddess?" Rimmer asked not knowing who they were or what was happening.

     * * *

     Back at the Space Station Dr. Sloth looked at a mutant Grundo. "Keep an eye on that little Grundo. He may lead us to General Methos and to the Moon Goddess."

     "Yes, Sir!" the Grundo said, and walked away.

     "I'm glad there were two copies of this," Dr. Sloth said as he looked at a book that looked like the one the Lenny had.

The End

 
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