A Sonnet of Samrin: Extreme Herder

     Samrin, swiftly stows babaa on thy brow,

     Balthazar flouncing, "I am eating now."

     Witless noil hastens around the corner,

     Nearing the ruffian to Samrin's horror.

     The cosy paddock of the beaten path,

     Holds bonus point babaa, to the lupe's wrath.

     Orange speed orb, Samrin's quick java to go,

     Hastens him to the task he undergoes.

     Snatching the noil with beads of well-earned sweat,

     Samrin charges away from the vile threat.

     Balthazar alters course with a loud growl,

     Hunger patent and spittle on his jowl.

     Angelpuss in sight, the lupe gnashes teeth,

     The creature, saved, that's the end of eighteenth.

     So, you want the Extreme Herder avatar, Eh? It's a classically spiffy avatar, as avatars go, with the heroic, forlorn look of our hero. I mean, who *wouldn't* want to be at the end of Samrin's victorious story, with those rugged good looks, and obvious physique. I mean, come on the 'cheek can run, am I right? Get that guy the good ole' orange power orb, and he's practically an Altador cup underdog in the making. Watch out Team Meridell, a star has been born.

     Well, let me shoot straight with you. It's not a walk in the park. It's actually caused whole body tension, cramped fingers and a headache or two, but it can and has been done. My fellow Neopian, I want to share a few tips that I've learned in the past eighteen years (Yes, half my life... okay games aren't my strongest suit) of playing this blasted game, so that one day, you too may enjoy the fruits of your merit and dedicate a neoboard pen just to this lovely square of avatar gold. Yes, once you beat this game, you will want to spend real-life money to show off the doughnutfruits of your labour.

     The game begins and you think, well, this isn't too bad, eh? There are lots of options. Four fancy portals and four easy drop off locations for your depositing/ saving petpet convenience. Well, as you start progressing through the game the portals and drop off locations for your sweet angelpuss slowly fall away with your sense of confidence. Even your power-ups start vanishing (if you can even get that far). What is a kacheek shepherd to do?

     I am going to share with you a few of my biggest secrets to finally being successful in my herding days, so grab your shepherding staff and strengthen those neck muscles and let's get that avatar.

     For the basics, I am not going into detail, you are just going to have to get good at being fast on the keyboard arrow controls, always starting Samrin on the left upper side of the screen (so Balthazar doesn't eat your petpet while you are avatar daydreaming on the right bottom side), and not going to retrieve the snowflake and orange orb powerups unless they are directly in your pathway. If you have to go out of the way to get it, your petpets are at risk. This is not a good idea for obvious reasons. Also: it's normal to think bad thoughts about the babaa (YES it's always a fyora-lovin' babaa) that just wandered right into Balthazar's jowls as you are doing your Neopian civil servant duties elsewhere near the paddock. Try to control your anger and save all the petpets, but if you have to choose between doglefox and babaa, doglefox wins every single time. You will thank me later when you have the avatar.

     The biggest trick I've learned, is to keep Balthazar on the left side of the screen and never let him round the corners. Once he rounds the corners, it's bad news bearogs. To do this, you might need to grab a petpet and drop him in the other direction, as to tempt Balthazar to go the opposite way. Yes, we are talking about petpet lives here (petpet protection league, no neomails please), but this will help keep him on the left side toggling between the upper and lower corner. He is trying to decide which petpet to narrow in on. Always keep in mind which side would be more dangerous for him to round. If there are 5 petpets on the top right corner of the screen and 2 on the bottom right, start with the closest to Balthazar on the top left and when you have a little time, start going for the bigger group of petpets on the top right. If he rounds the corner, go take care of the ones in immediate danger. For the kacheeks in the back I repeat: you do *not* have to deposit the petpets in the paddock immediately. Just get them out of harms way and go back for the others. This is seriously a game changer and elevated my game from barely getting to 175, to getting to 220s.

     You will have the best chance of getting the avatar if you maintain three Samrin lives by the time you have about 200 points. This will give you the best chance of gaining the avatar. If you get into a sticky situation at this point, which is almost inevitable with your powerups fading, it's better to sacrifice Samrin than let Balthazar have free reign on eating your petpets. 1 life lost is better than losing the game. It's a little risky, since you restart the level on the bottom right, and there is a chance you lose petpets if they spawn near Balthazar. But, again, one life lost is better than losing the game or losing multiple petpets.

     There is a popular super secret hidden code you can look up (*coughcough freeze coughcough* and I never used it to win. It's distracting and not helpful in my humble extreme herder avatar yielding opinion. Do it the ole' fashioned way without the code.

     That's it! The game takes lots of grit, angry screaming at your computer and a little luck, but you too can have this fantastic gaming avatar as your very own. Good luck and happy herding.