I Like The Way You Groove!

I didn’t live through it but I know those who did.
And those who ran away from that era and hid.
A time of peace, love and the fro,
Mullets, pet rocks and a time for disco!
When you are feeling down and blue,
Remember ‘Your Disco Needs You!’

Capara: (There’s a stage where Capara is singing with Darigan on a piano providing light family entertainment.)

Welcome to the Hard Sloth Cafe!
Hope we expect you to stay!
And to enjoy the creme brulee,
Today at the Hard Sloth Cafe!

Kalora: (Talking about her old job she was fired before her job at the Hard Sloth Cafe. She sadly sings a song or two while packaging some burgers up.)

If this ever changing Neopia that we all live in,
Makes you give up and cry...
Live and let fry. Live and let fry.

Princess Fernypoo: (Fernypoo has a notebook in hand, she is calling Kalora in the kitchen.)
I have a order for two cheeseburgers, a serve of fries and a small thickshake.

Kalora: (She is flipping burgers over on a grill powered by faerie magic.)
Okay, two burgers is what I’ll prepare and make.

Princess Fernypoo:
Shake a leg, Kalora. These people want fast food,
Complete with greasy goodness- to put them in a happy mood.

Kalora:
Get off my back, Ferny I am working as fast I can.
Least I don’t sleep on the job and have a low attention span.

Princess Fernypoo:
What?! I was thinking at myself and looking at my nails.

Kalora:
The whining prevails..

Capara: (Scene crosses to Capara singing a melancholy tune. She is draped across the piano with a microphone. Darigan is on piano. )

The staff are practising politics,
The lonely are bored sitting alone.
Its a place that is very surreal compared to home.

Play us a song, evil Darigan!
Play us a song tonight!
We're all in the mood for a tune
And you've got to lighten up the night.

(Darigan plays a joyless tune.)

Darigan:

I met a girl in downtown Neopia,
Where you drink juice and it tastes like Neocola,
Iced Neocola.
Li-li-li-li Lisha!

Well I'm not the world's most handsome villain,
But she knows who I am.
Lili li-li-li-li Lishaaa!

(A very sad Sceptre walks up to the bar. He’s friends with Kalora from their old Cheat days.)

Kalora:
Oh, Sceptre! Would you like some Ginger tea or Choclated drink? You look a bit Bluescorchio104. A little something warm will make you Peachi again.

Sceptre:
No thanks, a thickshake would nice though. Do you have any gossip or stories to share, Buddy? (The princess interrupts. She thinks the world revolves around her and everyone loves her.)

Princess Fernypoo:
Something has happened with TK and I. Oily, you know. I won’t Noremac you with the details.

Sceptre:
Hey Kiddo, did ya hear Laurensama traceypaper12’s her comics?

Kalora:
Yeah, I met a Wolf, Cheshire Husky, a baby Joey and a Green Moose of Doom on the way to work. That rumour can’t be true. I don’t leave someone Leb388 you to believe that.

Princess Fernypoo: (Looks at a bunch of employment name tags. Talking to herself.)
By the way which Potato spelt the new employee’s name Tdyans wrong on her nematic?

Kalora:
Check out this frostcrystal, my friend Megg bought me?

(She pulls out her necklace hidden under her shirt to show Sceptre.)

Sceptre:
Pretty. Hear about that Plushie Diva who demands so much on her rider? Thinks she is so famous!

Agent Hog:
Hey Kalora and Fernypoo! Get back to your jobs, you two!
Stop gossiping on the job, its not supposed to be what I employ you to do.

(When Agent Hog, their supervisor turned back around both stick their tongues out and continue to gossip. Kalora finishes up making the thickshake. She ties a punk tie around her neck.)

Kalora: Hear about the Koi who got with that Grarrl girl?
The best unlikely match up in the world.

He was a Koi, and she was a Grarrl. Could it be anymore obvious?
He was a plumber, she made soufflé. What more should I say?

He wanted to clean her sink,
She'd never tell, secretly she wanted him as well.
But all of her Neofriends
Stuck up their nose,
They had a problem with his scruffy clothes.

He was a Plumber Koi,
She said ‘See ya later Koi!’
He didn't work fast enough for her,
She had pretty molars
But her head was up in Kreludor
She needed to come back down to Neopia.

Five days from now,
She sits at home,
Picking the Neopian Times off her front step,
She turns to Page 3,
Guess who she sees?
Plumber Koi's rocking up NTV!

She neomails her friends
They already know,
And they've all bought
550 NP tickets to see the show!
She tags along,
Stands in the crowd,
Looks up at the Koi that she turned down.

(She finishes making the milkshake and hands it to Sceptre.)

Here’s your thickshake, put extra caramel topping in it.
Before you thank me, you’re a pal and you don’t have to thank me one bit.
Like it?

Sceptre: Your thickshakes are very nice,
The taste, cool and refreshing as ice.

(Princess Fernypoo is ticked off, she tries to catch Sceptre’s attention. She leans over the counter in front of where Sceptre and Kalora are talking. She sort of flaunts her chest at him.)

Princess Fernypoo: My thickshakes bring all the Kois to the yard,
Dung right, they are yummier than yours.

Advise you how? You’d have to have pay.
Ha-ha-ha-hah! You don’t know it all.

(Kalora is cross, she despises Fernypoo’s competitive streak. Darigan is on piano singing a tune.)

Darigan: When I was young,
Me and Slothy had so much fun.
Breaking windows by throwing stones,
And bopping along to the Krawk-o-dile Rock.
Haha! Haha!
We look back at these times and laugh.
Haha! Haha!

(Revving Virtupets engines can be heard offstage. A bunch of Moehogs in leather jackets storm into the cafe. Fernypoo nudges Sceptre.)

Princess Fernypoo:
Who let the Moehogs out? Er..

Moehog Leader:
I am here to meet the great Plushieowner.

Kalora:
I think you want the production of ‘Give My Regards to Neopia!’
In Studio 107, hun.

(Moehog Leader takes helmet off and bows. He rounds up his Moehog group and leaves.)

Moehog Leader:
Sorry for the disturbance, lets be off everyone.

(Roxy is sitting at a table by herself, she sees Sloth and conceals her face behind a menu so he doesn’t notice her but he does. He pulls up a chair at her table.)

Roxy:(Looking disgruntled.)
Hi Sloth..How are you?

Sloth:
You won’t believe what happened day?

Roxy:(In a sarcastic voice)
Slothy, you don’t say!

(Sloth sings a few bars...)

Sloth: So I asked this Grundo ‘Do you speak my language?’
He just smiled and handed me an asparagus sandwich.

(Roxy’s unimpressed, places her hand on her heart and moves to centre stage.)

Roxy: As long as I have advice to give,
I've got all my life to live
I will stay alive!
With my column, I will survive!

(Sloth pushes her to the side grabbing the limelight.)

Sloth: I’m just a poor guy from a bad family!
So spare me my life from this horrid Roxy!
Grundo! Grundo! Let me go!

(Across the room from where Sloth and Roxy are dining, Princess Fernypoo is serving. She comes up to a table with a bright red table cloth where Brucey B the celebrity is sitting down.)

Princess Fernypoo:
My name’s Ferny, how many I help you?

Brucey B:
Please can I have a lovely date?

Princess Fernypoo:
We don’t sell those but do have a prune surprise plate.

Brucey B:
Ah, my misunderstanding. I meant with you.

Princess Fernypoo:
We’re fresh out of Babaa. Would you like to look at the menu?

Brucey B:
Not one to take a hint, are we? I’m asking you out on a dinner date.

Princess Fernypoo:
Thanks for the offer but my schedule is too full to negotiate.

Brucey B: I’ll take you dancing tomorrow tonight.
How about I meet you here, is that time alright?
Come on, my treat!
You can choose whatever to eat.

Princess Fernypoo:
Sweet, you can dance me off my feet.

(D.J Slothenator is mixing up some tunes in the corner. Nervously, Brucey B waits around on the dance floor. Little does he know he has competition for Fernypoo, Branston the Eyrie.)

Brucey B:

I’ll be waiting on my feet,
It doesn’t matter what clothes you wear,
Or what time you’ll be there.

(Fernypoo struts in. Branston gives a song request to DJ Slothenator to put on a little ‘Bustin Kiko Lake’. )

Branston:
I’ve got something he aren’t got.
Suave and charming, he’s certainly not.
He aren’t like that, it is just the way it seems.

(Cues for disco lights to turn on.)

Play that groovy music, White Weewoo!
Play that groovy music until you fly!

(Fernypoo pushes Brucey B away as he tries to approach her to talk. Brucey B is on the dance floor alone now and looks at the happy pair.)

Branston:
All things in life revolve around me,
Though I can’t compare to a bumble bee,
I really want you, honey!
Oooo..thats who I want.

(Brucey gives her a bouquet of glass roses.)

Princess Fernypoo:
Back off loser! You were a Plan B.
Big laugh joke, thinking you’d stay with me!

W-whoa back Brucey!
Sc-Scram! Scram!
Dumped ya for another man!
W-whoa back Brucey!

(Brucey gives her a bouquet of glass roses. Fernypoo purposely drops them on the floor and runs off with Branston.)

If you try leaning a little closer,
You’d realise your roses really smell like Lupe do doo!

(A dim spotlight is on the rejected Brucey B, he wanders to where Kalora is in a corner of the room watching in awe of the happy couples. Wand of Nova sparks fly, as it seems to have found love at first sight with someone..)

Brucey B:
Excuse, what is your name bella?

Kalora:
Kalora, nice to meet you.

Brucey B:
If you answer yes, I’ll be the luckiest Bruce in the world!
‘Kalora, are you going to be my Kau girl?’

(Brucey B grabs a microphone and DJ Slothenator gets everyone’s attention by making a large whistle with his fingers.)

DJ Slothenator:
Shut your traps, everyone! This Bruce is trying to speak!
Let him finish before he gets nervous and his knees go weak!

Brucey B:

I feel great this evening,
There’s one good reason- that Kalora and I are together
People, give this girl around of applause. She’s beautiful..
Haunted Woods...Ooo..Haunted woods..

Lets go disco dance, shake your moo-ve thing!
Ignore that silly Branston, the Disco Ding!

(He lifts Kalora up from her seat. A Virtupets mobile rings in her jacket pocket.)

Kalora:
I need to leave, tonight there’s been a change in my job shift.

Brucey B: (Suddenly Bruce goes into a fit of unprecedented rage for no reason at all.)
WHY?!? Why must this soon two vessels be set a drift?!!

Kalora:
Settle down, we can arrange to meet again.

Brucey B:
What really sets you apart?
From the others previously which broke my heart.

Kalora:
I’ve been down that road before!
See that jerk Branston the Eyrie on the floor!

(She gives the evil eye to ex-boyfriend, Branston now together with Fernypoo.)

I give my regards to Branston,
But lets hope their relationship is not on!

(Then Brucey B storms out of the Hard Sloth Cafe disco, Kalora hollers and pulls him by his shoulder.)

I’m in a state of shock!
Just like that, you drop me like a sock!

Brucey! Brucey!
Open your eyes and see!
You are just scared of rejection,
But you just need one’s dear affection!

Brucey B:
Well, you know how it is- you say stupid things when you are..

Kalora:
In love?

Brucey B:
No, when you are Branston. Looks like Fernypoo has ditched him!

(Fernypoo slaps Branston and walks off.)

Kalora: Give my regards to Branston!
Chase him to forty-second street
And tell him I don’t even care!

(Kalora and Brucey pair cackle and both travel off stage as just friends...)

(Author’s Note: Dedicated to the groovy Marc, have a uber-spiffy birthday on the 12th of August!)